i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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