Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize