After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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