Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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