dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
