Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
