He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize