thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
