When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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