We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize