So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
