you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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