when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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