The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
