I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
