He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
