not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
