It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize