Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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