he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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