Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So much rum. So many feels.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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