Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it penis luge time yet?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
