unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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