what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
