the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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