My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
