We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
