Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
