just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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