I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
