i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
