I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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