Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
