and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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