well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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