Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the condom got lost in my hair
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
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my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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