you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
