She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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