I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
