brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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