Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
