And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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