i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
