i think i have two assholes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
