okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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