The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
