You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
