This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
