so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
