another moral hangover. fuck.
Duck Duck Cougar?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
