Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
