How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
