We won't sleep together?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
