Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
