dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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