Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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