The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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