I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
