i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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