Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
