Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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