There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
