woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize