christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
