Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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