I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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